As a writer, I bound from one coffee bean carrier to the next until I can land in a cozy nook that inspires and offers solace from emo attention seekers and poetry readings. I need a simple, passable nonfat latte and polite service. That's all. It's a simple concept really.

So why has it been so hard to find a quality coffee carrier in the Capitol Hill area?  Honestly?  It should be the area's specialty.  This area has its share of street performers and homeless selling newspapers.  There are several smaller concert venues such as the Ogden that attract an artsy crowd.  And the Molly Brown museum.  Capitol Hill has culture seeping from the cracks in the sidewalks.

Over the past couple of months, I have patronized four independent coffee houses in the area and have ranked them accordingly.  I'm not including the Dazbog or Starbucks franchises.  They simply lack the charm, and in the latter's case, charge for internet access. Not cool.

Penn Street Perk

(located at 1300 Pennsylvania)
This tiny respite is almost hidden despite the recent addition of some neon umbrellas just added to the patio.  It's a simple joint with ample plug-ins and friendly service.  A sign introduces your distinct barista.  Although each barista has tattoos and/or menacing black eyeshadow, their demeanors completely contradict their surly appearances.  While the coffee is delicious, this joint also offers a variety of quick lunch options from simple lunchbox-style sandwiches to grilled paninis.  Unlike most hip venues where the attendant seems to be using the space to further his DJ-ing career, these folks keep it calm and toned down - pleasant, but not distracting.  Minor negatives:  Limited seating creates seating problems during afternoon hours, table proximity is sometimes TOO cozy.

Illegal Grounds

(925 E. 17th Ave.)
If you prefer to have your coffee at home, but feel inclined to drag yourself out of the house - this is probably the place for you.  It literally is a large house converted into a coffee and pastry shop (the top half are oddly law offices). The quality of the product is similar to Penn Street, although they lack the variety of food options.  They are quick to point out that the pastries are organic and delivered daily from a local bakery.  The large front yard has been peppered with garden furniture which make it pleasant on a warm day, while the insides decor still feels sparse and drab.  Luckily the house is still divided into several rooms, so peace and quiet is usually easy to find.

Gypsy House

(1279 Marion St.)
The Bohemian ambience will immediately be a draw or a detractor depending on your mood.  Your experience however? That will depend on the proprietor's mood.  On one occasion I was treated to an entirely audible, expletive-laced rant from the kitchen.  Another, I was told that (prior to ordering anything) that I could not plug in my laptop unless I ordered at least $5 product.  Interesting - the customer seems to be always wrong... In promising news, the help changes from visit to visit.  Others were kind and gracious, offering prompt service and a surprisingly simple yet delicious breakfast sandwich.  If the bipolar help is obliterated, this place might hop a couple places higher.  After all, the space itself is fascinating.  Possible draw/detractor - hookah is also offered.

St. Marks

(2019 E. 17th St.)
This vaguely religious bean grinder is simply too rude for my tastes.  The tables look like they have been resuscitated from the local dump and the service is simply ambivalent.  Upon ordering a sandwich, I was unaware that I would have to return when they shouted my order.  Taking a seat in the far back, I was apparently out of earshot.  After about 30 minutes, I stood to find my lonely sandwich fermenting while the help talked amongst themselves.  I guess I didn't know "the rules."  Additionally, plug-ins are all congregated in one general area and probably existed years beyond city-wide electrical regulations.  A minor movement can render the entire outlet useless.  You may not realize until your computer suddenly shuts down.  Altogether, a giant disappointment.

Granted, these are 4 small options, but they certainly run the gamut from cozy and tidy to messy and disrespectful.  For additional coffee house recommendations, feel free to contact me: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and I will certainly give them a try.